The long Rhode profile

Posted by K on 10:07 AM comments (4)



“There are six billion people in the world, you are just but a number” says a face with large brown eyes full of intensity. This is Mandee Uku a survivor of a first year at Rhodes, a survivor of a first year of experiences and a survivor of a year of disappointments.

Mandee came to Rhodes because she had an “Oprah moment” and like Oprah she wanted to change the world and what better way to do that than by getting a Journalism degree from Rhodes University. However she was not prepared for the sudden freedom she was exposed to considering she lived a fairly sheltered life in Nelspruit with her loving and sometimes overprotective mother and father. “In high school I was abit of a lameo” she laughs a deep and uninhibited laugh as she explains her extra long skirt that she eventually convinced her mother to hem and her excellent top 10 marks.


She nearly didn’t make it to Rhodes as her father was positive his daughter was meant to be a lawyer, studying at Wits. However Wits did not have accommodation and her parents did not want their daughter stranded in the big city. Amanda got her wish and was off to Rhodes to become Oprah.

When she got to Rhodes things changed and between boys and crazy nights out things hit a low. Rumours are a dangerous thing Mandee explains, her words spew out over each as if they were in a rush to get to the dinning hall on time. Having this new social life meant that she was subject to some nasty and hurtful rumours about her love life.


Who did these people think they were assuming and divulging details of her dating life to the masses, when in reality all of these stories were false. She touches her elegantly braided hair that’s pulled back in a scrunchie when talking about her less than friendly boyfriend, who is now and ex-boyfriend after he partook in some rumours himself. Mandee throws her arms up in the air trying to explain the jealous nature of most of the girls that were spreading the rumours that made her lie in bed for days unable to move.

Things weren’t going Mandee’s way and the cherry on top were her less than satisfactory marks from the July exams. However she realised something when she was low and missing her mother and that was “you are unstoppable and no one can stop you but yourself”. Mandee loves her residence Dingemans, where she feels at home with the people and spends many a late night chatting to friends, sipping 2 minute noodles mixed with Melrose cheese.

Yes there are “6 billion people in the world and you are only a number but that just means you have to prove yourself, I wouldn’t change a thing,” Mandee announces giving a crooked smile. This is Mandee Uku a future multi million empire builder as she likes to say and one “opinionated, well rounded and sometimes rude” Rhodent.

Salutations to you, young FaeriJane

Posted by FaeriJane on 3:58 AM comments (2)


Salutations to you my formerly Wheat Tolerant Friend,


I have been thinking about you since you returned from your gap year in Israel and I am certain that you are as confused as anything about your decision to leave home again after already having been away for so long in the land of humus and schnitzel. But I know that you have made the right decision even if the sacrifice of family does not seem worth it. You are leaving your home, your bubble, your comfort zone and your life only to create a new one. The best thing about it is that you will always have the love and support of your first. And the only difference; you will have substitute cocktails for copious amounts of cuppachino in order to stay up late and work.


I have seen photos of you and you seem to be looking, for lack of a more fitting euphemism, a little voluptuous. It’s a pity you aren’t a part of a culture where big is beautiful. I know how the falafel story goes though: every one you ate really was to be the last. I must warn you, however, about something called the “first year spread”. What basically happens is that you get progressively rounder until one day you will pop – and that is up for individual interpretation.


Unfortunately, this theory is applicable only to the females of this cruel world in which we exist. Alas, food in residence is almost as unpleasant as a pregnant Israeli mother running after her twelve and a half children at a crowded bus station. Beware of Pirates Pizza and Steers soft serve ice cream Dear Friend. It will only end in tears.


Anyway, I must retire for the day; I do have a cuppachino to sip on and lots of essays to complete. Adios amigos, be gentle with yourself and be open to as much experience as you can handle.

Lots of love to you sweet lady,

Your recently turned Wheat Intolerant Friend.