Salutations to you my formerly Wheat Tolerant Friend,
I have been thinking about you since you returned from your gap year in Israel and I am certain that you are as confused as anything about your decision to leave home again after already having been away for so long in the land of humus and schnitzel. But I know that you have made the right decision even if the sacrifice of family does not seem worth it. You are leaving your home, your bubble, your comfort zone and your life only to create a new one. The best thing about it is that you will always have the love and support of your first. And the only difference; you will have substitute cocktails for copious amounts of cuppachino in order to stay up late and work.
I have seen photos of you and you seem to be looking, for lack of a more fitting euphemism, a little voluptuous. It’s a pity you aren’t a part of a culture where big is beautiful. I know how the falafel story goes though: every one you ate really was to be the last. I must warn you, however, about something called the “first year spread”. What basically happens is that you get progressively rounder until one day you will pop – and that is up for individual interpretation.
Unfortunately, this theory is applicable only to the females of this cruel world in which we exist. Alas, food in residence is almost as unpleasant as a pregnant Israeli mother running after her twelve and a half children at a crowded bus station. Beware of Pirates Pizza and Steers soft serve ice cream Dear Friend. It will only end in tears.
Anyway, I must retire for the day; I do have a cuppachino to sip on and lots of essays to complete. Adios amigos, be gentle with yourself and be open to as much experience as you can handle.
Lots of love to you sweet lady,
Your recently turned Wheat Intolerant Friend.
2 comments:
Salutations FaeriJane (",)!
I can't get over letter. You express yourself so fluently and your sense of humour is fantastic - it's like "Fiddler on the Roof" meets Bette Middler (",). Despite part of my letter being about my extremely furry driving instructor, I also raised some of the issues surrounding res food therefore I can completely relate to your entertaining words on the first year spread. Coming from Johannesburg where I lived off my mother’s cooking for my entire school career, it took me a while to settle down into res life. After only a few weeks at varsity, I soon became a victim of the first year spread. I spent countless hours at the gym but my waistline kept expanding until the muffin top took over. Thankfully now that I’m settling down into varsity life, I’m gradually getting back to my original size. I really enjoyed reading your letter and look forward to your future posts.
Take care.
Love Alex
x(“,)x
Greetings to you, Wheat Intolerant FaeriJane,
I have to tell you that I can completely relate to your indecision to leave home... I had to leave home for the first time this year in order to study at a place that seems as if it is worlds away from home! Its a wonder that you have survived this experience twice, seeing that you went on a gap year to another country when all I had to do was move a province or two away from my family. Kudos to you, my friend! But look at us now - surviving resfood and somehow managing (with the aid of much too much caffeine!) to complete the gargantuan amount of work thrown at us by the "institution"! Leaving the nest might have been the most difficult task I have ever undertaken in my young life! But I left knowing that my family will always be there no matter how far away from the nest I might fly... So, dear FaeriJane, forget about the fact that we don't live in a culture where big is beautiful and enjoy life with the thought in mind that the ones you love will always accept you and welcome you home with loving arms...
Go well,
WildFlower
aka - *Leanne*
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